Here are the pics from the zoo trip with Jamie the MILF:

A new dialogue for y'all. `S been a while.

Pretending To Be Crazy

"Mumble jumble wumble, loopidy-doo, dumba dumba doodle, scoopity-woo."

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm practicing being crazy."

"Dare I ask why?"

"Dare. Dare."

"Why?"

"Because I need to break up with me girlfriend."

"You're practicing being crazy so you can break up with your girlfriend?"

"Yeah. I want to break up with me girlfriend."

"Me girlfriend?"

"Not yours. Mine. I'm going to pretend to be crazy so I can break up with me girlfriend."

"Why are you saying 'me' instead of 'my'? You're not English."

"I speak English."

"It's not the same thing."

"Whatever."

"No not whatever. How long have you been talking like this?"

"A fortnight or so."

"What the fuck is a fortnight?"

"Two weeks."

"Why didn't you just say that?"

"It's cool to talk English English. Like James Bond."

"That's cool?"

"Yeah. Nobody else does it. That makes me different. Different is cool."

"Since when?"

"Since always. It's cool to do deliberately do stuff different from other blokes."

"Will you stop that please?"

"What?"

"Dropping this little Englishisms all over the place. I think I'm going to throw up on your pretentious ass."

"What's wrong with me dialect?"

"Shut up!"

"What?"

"It's not cool to be different just for the sake of being different. You're like that guy with the cape."

"Carl?"

"Yeah."

"I like Carl."

"So what's this about your girlfriend."

"Well, I was over at her house and she started talking about commitment, and I just think it's a little soon."

"Hold on."

"What?"

"I'm still hung up on this English thing. You're such a prententious asshole. It's people like you who I hate."

"Why?"

"You're like 'oh, I can't listen to Britney Spears because that's popular music (as if that were so awful). I have to listen to Coltrane and Mingus.'"

"I like Britney Spears."

"No you don't. You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"No really. I do like her. I own all her albums."

"You mean it?"

"Yeah. You want me to do the Hit Me Baby (One More Time) dance for you?"

"Yes please."

"Here goes. Mumble jumble wumble, loopidy-doo, dumba dumba doodle, scoopity-woo."